I knew I always wanted to be a missionary when I was younger. I was on the righteous path and I had no doubt in my mind that I was going to go forth and spread the Gospel for our Heavenly Father. My testimony was strong and I had undeniable faith in our Church. I was excited beyond measure just to know that I was going to be called upon to serve the Lord. Little did I know that I was going to end up in the tempters snare. Temptation got the best of me and I fell away from my scriptures, from my prayers, from my ward, from my faith, from my testimony and from our lord.
My adolescent days brought the worst for me. I was enjoying my rebellious demeanor and my ruthless ways of fun. Not even thinking of my future. Now all I can say that I have from those days is regret and bittersweet memories.
I sit and think of how better off I wouldve been if I just turned away from the adversaries temptation. I wouldve been a returned missionary by now. I wouldve been praised for the good Ive done and the bravery Ive shown for leaving my family and striving on my own with the will of the Lord. My brothers who have been nothing but examples for my family are missionaries. Im so proud of them. With all the surroundings that are layed around them, they had the courage and strength to overcome all obstacles and be an example. And I will always look up to them. They have truly shown me what it is to be a man in this life.
I WOULDVE MADE A GREAT MISSIONARY...
I know I can still go on a mission and that its never too late. But with the circumstance that has gotten a hold of me, Im afraid my dream of all dreams, its nothing but a dream...
My faith and testimony have been restored, stronger than ever. All I need is the strength to press forward and eliminate my problematic personality and gain my righteous path again.
I love the Lord and Savior and not once does an ounce of disbelief flow through my soul. I know my redeemer lives. To bless me with his love and guidance while I struggle with my turmoil. And I will always be in his debt...
Aww... cousin I LOVE this! Never doubt that you ARE a great missionary! Every member a missionary, right?! RIGHT! We all have slip ups in life, some more serious than others, but always remember that the Savior is always there with open arms, awaiting our return! :)
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I LOVE LOVE LOVE about the Gospel, is that we must not live in the past. Make your past transgressions right, and do better moving forward! It's a daily battle... but one that we can succeed in! One that our Heavenly Father knows we can succeed and if HE knows we can do it, why should we think differently?
Love you so so much, and it's never too late. Pray daily for strength. It's helped me so much this last year and I felt at times (& sometimes still do!) that I'm the least deserving of the Lord's good blessings. But somehow He's still there for me.
Words of Wisdom to live by.. "The Devil takes shit and wraps it in chocolate."
Keep blogging! Love you!
Thanks Cuz. It feels so good to hear words of comfort like yours. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me. It helps me regain my strength I once had. And I love your Words of Wisdom too lol love it. Thanks again Cuz. Love u too!!
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