New Beginnings

I know I started a 30 Day challenge and I just stopped out of nowhere but

Life took a toll on me and gave me whiplash. So I'll just continue with that

with the days to come ;)

A lot has happened since the last time we spoke. A gripload.

Like a lot a lot!! Like Im not even kidding! A continuous line of unbelievability that

ceases to deterioate my breathing soul. Now do you see?

Ive lived my standards up to its max and Ill hold my grounds.

With that being said, I loathe the fact that people write about relationship issue related

"drama" on the internet. But Im a hypocrite. Ive done it on here. My blog. Ill

live up to that. I regret it. I can see why one would want to do it though. Its a hard knock life.

So, in other words, Im not going to say how my once "Longed-For" love is now at a end.

Just that, its an ending to a fairy tale that replayed...

Ive recently moved back home and started my life on the D-List.

Although my parents and family were ecstatic about the change. I was hesistant.

Not about the decision I made, but about my life.

How does one go from being independent to "depend on"?

My sister Camilla told me, "no one said it was gonna be easy, just worth it"

Those words have haunted me day in and day out. I tried to put a smile on and cover the

pain of starting over but its exceedingly hard. eh.

So, I decided to start with the most obvious. GET MY BODY BACK.

Two and a half years of letting myself go and not taking care of my health has left

a sadden look on my oversized chins.

So for those of you who dont know, Ive been excercising and dieting like no other.

It has taken so much pressure off my shoulders and I can finally breathe again.

Just taking it one day at a time.

I have my family and friends to thank. You all have been the best support system!

Ill give you all a dollar ;)

With trust unfolded and heart mending , my mind is at peace.

From the dogs chasing me and cars honking, my mind breathes.

The cries that turned into laughter, my mind is at attention.

Watch out world, my mind is free.

til next time fatties :)

Day 13: Someone you wish could forgive you

Someone I wish could forgive me is my family.

Forgive me for being so overly sensitive and hard headed.

Forgive me for leaving the house and leaving my responsibilities.

Forgive me for all my sins.

I know Im so messed up right now, but Ill get better and make it right.

please just forgive my daily demeanors...

ill come around.

Day 12: The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Im going to make this brief.

I dont give a damn if youve caused me pain.

Whats done is done.

Look towards the winding roads that stand before us.

Never dwell on the past trials.

If you do, than YOU are the one that causes yourself the most pain.

Enough said.

Day 11: A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

A person I would love to talk to thats deceased is my Grandpa. My Moms Dad.

Ive gotten to know my Grandma and both of my Dads parents but

my Grandpa passed away when I was young. So I dont remember him. Im glad I know

that he at least held and kissed me once.

From all the stories I hear about him and all the good things hes done in his life,

I know that I would be in GREAT company if I were to sit with him and talk.

I want him to tell me if hes proud to have me as his grandson.

I would love to sit and hear him speak. To hear his voice and make jokes about

my mom and her siblings. I hear he was a funny man.

Sadly, I dont have a picture of him to display with this entry. But I'll get

one from my Mom later and post it up.

I love him and miss him even though I dont remember him.

Having faith knowing that he loved me is what brings those feelings.

Ill make you proud Grandpa. Tell Grandma I love her!

Day 10: Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

This image says it all.